12/08/2025
SP∞CE Magazine Vol. 00 (2023)
Interview & Text: Sara Hirayama
Translation: Muniyem Baba
女性が秘めている魅力を全面に引き出すフォトグラファー・Saeka Shimada。地元である熊本県・玉名市から気合と根性で上京し、Droptokyoの初期メンバーとしての活動を経て独立。 今では有名ファッションブランドや最前線で活躍するアーティストの撮影をこなすなかで、物質社会に負けないために彼女が行っていることを教えてくれた。人間や地球に本来備わっている ”生命の美” や “自然の美” をフィルムカメラを通して表現している彼女が本当に伝えたいメッセージとは。
Photographer, Saeka Shimada, brings to light the feminine charm from under the veil. She originally moved to Tokyo from her hometown of Tamana, Kumamoto, starting out as an early member of Droptokyo and then going independent. Now shooting for prominent fashion brands and vanguard artists, she reveals to us how she keeps up with the momentum of the material world. Through the lens of her film camera, she seeks to convey the inherent “beauty of life” and “beauty of nature, evident in human beings and on the Earth.
□ インタビューを受けてくれてありがとう。小さい頃から言葉が苦手って言ってたよね。どんな子どもだったの？
たぶん自分でコンプレックスにしてた、お勉強ができないキャラだったから。末っ子で甘やかされて、お勉強ができないキャラだったの。「わたしはできないんだ」という意識が知らないうちに身についていて。あと、田舎だから固定概念が強すぎて。「お勉強できない子＝だめ」。好きなことしかやれない、今までずっと。美術と音楽だけ（成績が）5で、それ以外全部2。0か100だった。地理のテストは100点。海外への憧れとかがあったから国や首都覚えるのとかめっちゃ好きだった。好きなことはめっちゃやる。そんな感じで、元々音楽と美術が好きで、それだけはずっとよかった。
□ Thank you for taking the time to participate in this interview. You mentioned that since childhood, you weren’t much of a fan of words. What kind of kid were you?
I think I must have had a bit of a complex because I wasn’t good at studying. I was the youngest child and a bit coddled, so I was the type that had trouble with studying. I was always told that I’m not good at anything. On another note, I grew up in the countryside, where the culture of stereotyping is extreme. “Kids who can’t study = no good.” I’ve never been able to do anything but what I love, from childhood until now. In music and art only, I got a 5 (class grades), otherwise all other subjects were a 2. Always 0 or 100. I got 100 on my geography tests—I always longed to travel overseas, so I really enjoyed learning about countries and capitals. I do what I love to the max. That’s it; I’ve always liked music and art. Those are the only things I’ve always been good at.
□ その頃はなにを聞いていたか覚えてる？
幼稚園とか小1のときはモーニング娘のCD買った覚えがある。あと宇多田ヒカルの “First Love”。私が小学校1年生のとき、家にあったし車で流れてて。めっちゃ覚えてる。お兄ちゃんが6個上なんだけど、お兄ちゃんが中3のときにDJはじめて。自分でバイトして稼いだお金でめっちゃレコード買ってていつも家に届いてたのをみてた。私が小学校4年生とかのときかな「これ聴け！」って言われて音楽に出会った。聴きはじめたのが、Destiny’s Child、Erykah Badu、Pushimさんとか。衝撃を受けてめっちゃハマった。
□ Do you remember what you were listening to back then?
I remember buying the Morning Musume CD when I was in Kindergarten or first grade. Hikaru Utada’s “First Love” album too. When I was in first grade, it was played in the house and in the car. I remember it so well. My older brother is 6 years older than me; he started to DJ when he was in his 3rd year of middle school. He worked a part-time job on his own and bought a ton of records with the money he earned. I remember seeing them delivered to the house all the time. I think maybe when I was around my 4th year of elementary school, he said “listen to this!.” That was when I became acquainted with music. I started listening to Destiny’s Child, Erykah Badu, Pushim, etcetera. They made a huge impact on me and I was totally hooked.
□ 苦手なことや、親からのダメな子扱いに対してどう感じていたのか気になる…。
ネガティブだった結構。でもその奥の芯に実は自信がある。どこかに自信はあったの、結局間違ってない。認められてないんだけど、私は多分そのセンスとかに謎の自信が奥底にめっちゃあって。田舎だったし、作り出すその吐口じゃないけど、表現の仕方をまず知らなかったから。ずっとくすぶってた。「私は間違ってない」みたいな感覚は強くあった。だし、兄ちゃんがアートのセンス良かったから。むしろ兄ちゃんはセンスあるみたいな扱いだった。で、わたしはなにもまだできてなくて、でもどこか自信をもってたなあ。
□ How did you feel about your parents treating you as if you were a bad kid?
I was pretty negative. But deeper inside, I actually had confidence. Coming from somewhere inside me, there was definitely that confidence. It wasn’t recognized by others but I probably had some mysterious confidence deep underneath that exterior. It was the countryside so… how to output, not in regards to that channel within myself, but I didn’t know how to express what wanted to come out of me. I was always looking for things I could pursue in life . I had a strong feeling that “I am not wrong”. And my brother had a great sensibility in regards to art. Rather, my brother was treated as if he had good sense. And me, I hadn’t done anything yet, but I had confidence coming from somewhere.
□ どうやって写真にたどり着いたの？
この間小学生のときの日記が出てきて、私が本当にやりたかったことは音楽だったの。本当は歌いたかった。その日記に歌詞とか書いてて、「私は夢を諦めない！」みたいな日記が出てきて。おもろーい。そしたら、その他にやりたい事にジャケを作る人になりたいって書いてたの。もう夢叶ってるじゃん。私って生まれた時から変わってないんだって気付けた。結構いろんな時期があったの今まで。私ミーハーで、それが強みだと気づいた。いろんな時代がある。ブームが年齢ごとにめっちゃあって、20歳ぐらいは髪の毛赤とか。青もしたし、派手だった。一時期それが恥ずかしいとか思ってたけど、あのよく言う黒歴史みたいな。「だから写真向いてんだ」ってことに気付いた。女の子の可愛い写真も男性のかっこいい写真撮る時もその色に染まれる。どの世界観も、自分がイケてるって思ったものは、なんでも好きだから。ミーハーで良かったってめっちゃ思った。ダンスもやってたし、歌に挑戦したり。成功させることをずっと目的にしてた。でも小さい頃は有名になりたいとかがだったんだろうな。これは違うんだってなった。「クラブ行って楽しめばいいや」ってなった19歳でもがいてたの。私は何が向いてるんだろう？ってずっと考えてて。高校卒業するときにさ、追い込まれるというか詰められるじゃん先生に。いいとこに就職しろみたいな風潮はあるじゃん。聞かずに、私はもうアメリカに行きたいので就職しませんって言って。ずっと小学生のときからアメリカ行きたかったんだけど、高校卒業して普通にフリーターやってて。そのときはファッションに夢中で。でもこの田舎、田んぼのなかじゃ自分のやりたいことを見つけれないと思って、自分でお金貯めて1ヶ月LAに行ったの。で遊びに行くってなったときに、そのときのアルバイト先のオーナーがカメラ好きで。「1ヶ月行きたいので休ませてください」って言ったら、「さえちゃんカメラ買いなよ！」って言われて。すでに写真は好きだった、思い出を残すことが好きで、写真見たときのあの感覚を思い出すとか、その感覚が好きで、めっちゃ撮ってたんだけどカメラは持ってなくて確かにカメラあったほうがいいじゃん！と思って。オーナーのおすすめのカメラが5万で、買うならずっと使えるもの、いいの買いたいって思って。知識もないしわかんないから「じゃあこれ買います」ってそのときお金全くなかったけど5万円のカメラをめっちゃ奮発して頑張って買って。しかもマニュアルの操作を教え込まれた。最初は嫌だった笑 私めっちゃ機械音痴だから頭のなか？？？だった笑 ISO感度、シャッタースピード、F値、一から教えてくれて。アメリカ行く直前。無理やり教え込まれたけど私はだんだん理解しはじめて。できるやんってなった。負けず嫌いで。私はアメリカ行くときに「このカメラでマニュアルでしか撮らない」って決めて行って。マニュアルでずっと撮ってたら「えっ、分かってきた」ってなって、帰る頃には完璧になってた。そっから写真を撮りはじめたって感じ。それで初めてしっくりきたんだと思う。表現の仕方。
□ How did you get into photography?
The other day I came across a journal of mine from elementary school; what I really wanted to do was music. The truth is I wanted to sing. In that journal I found, I’d written lyrics like, “I will not give up on my dream!” So interesting. And I’d also written that amongst the other things I wanted to do was make CD jackets for musicians. I’m like my dream has already come true! I realized I haven’t changed at all since I was born. There have been a lot of different chapters of my life until now. I’m a fangirl, and I’ve realized that’s one of my strong points. There are many different eras. There are a lot of trends that come and go with age; around 20 years old for me, it was red hair, for instance. I tried blue too; it was flashy. There was a time when I felt embarrassed about that but it’s just like one of those skeletons in the closet people always talk about. That’s why photography is for me, I realized. When I take cute photos of girls or cool photos of guys, I can do well. No matter the worldview, the thing that makes me feel alive is that I like anything. I’m super happy to be a fangirl. I danced too, and tried singing. I always did everything with the intent of being successful. But I guess when I was younger I wanted to be famous. I don’t think like that anymore. I was struggling at 19 and I thought “as long as I can go to the club and have fun, it’s all good (it’s enough).” I’ve been thinking for a long time, what am I meant to do? When I graduated from high school, I was put in a tight spot, or more like cornered by my teacher. There’s the common norm to find a job at a good place. Without asking me, he assumed I wanted to go to America and didn’t want to get a job. Ever since I was in elementary school I wanted to go to America, but after graduating from high school, I actually just started working as a part-timer. At that time, I was obsessed with fashion. But I started to think there was no way I’d find what I wanted to do out there in the countryside, with nothing but rice paddies all around. So I saved money on my own and went to LA for a month. When it was decided that I was going on the trip, it turned out the owner of the place that I worked part-time at loved cameras. When I said, “I want to go for a month, so please let me take some time off,” he told me “Sae, you gotta buy a camera!” I already liked photography because I liked to hold on to memories, like when you look at a photo and remember that feeling; I loved that experience and I would take a lot of photos but I didn’t have a camera and I thought, “good point! It would be good to have a camera!” The camera the owner recommended was 50,000 yen, and I thought if I’m going to buy one, I want a nice one that I can use for a long time. I didn’t know anything so I decided “I’ll just get that one” and even though I had absolutely no money, I went out of my way to get that 50,000 yen camera. And he even taught me the operation by the manual. I hated it at first (haha). I’m totally inept with machines and I was lost in my head (haha). He taught me about ISO sensitivity, shutter-speed, F-stop from zero. Right before I went to America. I was forced to learn but I gradually began to get the hang of it. I started to feel like I could do it. I hate losing. I decided that when I go to America, “I’ll only use this camera in manual mode.” I kept taking photos in manual and eventually I was like, “oh, I get it,” and by the time I went home I had it down perfectly. That’s how I started taking photos. That’s the first time, I think, that it really felt right. That way of expression.
□ 写真をはじめてからどんなものを撮っていた？
最初は風景写真、道歩いてる人とか。カメラを買うときも実はやりたかったんだと思う。フォトグラファーになりたいとは言えなかったけど、実は本気だった。自分の夢をはっきり言えないって感じ。フォトグラファーになりたいなんて、言える自信ない。人に否定されるのを怖がってた。でもどこかに自信もってた。
What kinds of things have you been shooting since you started taking photos?
At the beginning, landscape photos, people walking on the street and stuff. When I bought the camera, the truth is, I wanted to do this. I couldn’t say it out loud that I wanted to be a photographer, but that was the truth. I have trouble clearly articulating my dreams. I wasn’t confident enough to say that I wanted to be a photographer. I was afraid of being rejected by people. But somewhere in me, I had the confidence.
□ LAで1ヶ月過ごしたあとは？
もちろん留学したかったけどお金なくて無理だから。だったら東京に行こうと思って。それでLAから帰ってきてすぐ東京に行って。東京行ったことなかったんよ、興味なくてアメリカに行きたい憧れが強すぎて、1回も行ったことなかった。修学旅行のディズニーランドしか行ったことないから、渋谷のスクランブル交差点も初めて観た時感動した。1人で東京行って。そのとき原宿が盛り上がってた。10年前。すぐ来ようって思って、3ヶ月後ぐらいに上京した。お金を全く持たずに来た。私結構その時のどうにかなる精神が強すぎて、冒険した。私は失敗をいっぱいした。色々。まあでもそれが学びになったから、強みに変わった。なにもないのに来て、家も仕事もないんだよ。ガチで15万円ぐらいできた。20万はあったんかな。友達んちに転がり込んで、高校の友達が1人だけ上京してて。友達がキャバ嬢やってて、普通に病むじゃん。あの世界大変じゃん。それで3ヶ月ぐらいで帰ったの。家なくなって。で、東京で出会った子の家に転がり込んだんだけど色々とあって、すぐ出ていこうってなって。その時に助けてくれたのがともかちゃんっていう熊本出身の先輩。一緒に住みはじめて。本当に感謝してる。そこからちょっと落ち着いた。でもお金なさすぎてマジで大変だった。
□ How were things after you spent a month in LA?
I wanted to study abroad for sure but I had no money, so it was out of the question. So, I thought I’d go to Tokyo. That’s why I went to Tokyo right after I got back from LA. I’d actually never been there. I’d had no interest in going because my desire to go to America was stronger than anything, so I hadn’t even once been to Tokyo. I’d only been to Disneyland on a school trip, so I was in awe when I saw Shibuya’s scramble crossing for the first time. I went to Tokyo on my own. Harajuku was thriving at that time. 10 years ago. I decided I’d come to live there soon, and after about 3 months, I moved to Tokyo. I came with my pockets completely empty. My “go with the flow” spirit was seriously strong at that time, and so I began my adventure. I made a lot of mistakes. So many. But you know, that was all a part of learning, and it turned into strength. I came with nothing; no home, no work. I seriously came with 150,000 yen. Or maybe it was 200,000. I showed up at my friends house, a high school friend living in Tokyo by themselves. My friend was working at a hostess bar, and would get sick all the time. That world is rough. Then 3 months later, I ended up going back home. I didn’t have a place to stay anymore. So, I showed up at the house of a kid I met in Tokyo, but a lot happened and I had to get out of there fast. At that time, an upperclassmen from Kumamoto named Tomoka helped me out. We started living together. I’m truly so grateful to her. After that, things calmed down a bit. But I had so little money and it was seriously a tough time.
□ 地元の熊本に帰ろうとは思わなかった？
帰れない。1ミリも思わなかった。でも、熊本帰って東京に戻るバスで泣いてたぐらい東京に戻るの嫌だった。本当に辛すぎて。友達いなかったからこっちに。普通に泣いてた。
□ You didn’t think of going back to your hometown in Kumamoto?
I can’t go home. I didn’t even think of it for a millisecond. But after visiting my hometown in Kumamoto, and getting on the bus to head back to Tokyo, I’d cry. That’s how much I hated (too strong?) going back to Tokyo. It was honestly painful. I came here because I had no friends. I would cry often.
□ 東京に引っ越してからも写真を撮り続けてたの？
ちょっとずつ希望は見えた。東京来てもずっと写真をやってたわけじゃない、普通にバイトしてた。アパレルのバイトで、月13万とかしかもらえなくて、普通に生活できんから夜ガールズバーやってた、喋れなかったけど。笑 マジでその店の人もいいひとで、バイトさせてくれて。面白いおじさんも出会えた。東京に来て、私はファッション好きだし、スナップが撮りたいと思って。フォトグラファーになりたいとは言えなかったけど、私なんかがなれないと思ってたから。スナップ撮ってたら楽しそうって思って「スナップ撮りたい。撮るならDroptokyoで撮りたい」。めっちゃDroptokyo好きで、1番かっこよかった。Droptokyoでやりたいと思ってたら、Unaちゃんってモデルの子がいて。上京してバイトはじめたんだけど、1番最初に仲良くなった人が好きなモデルのお姉ちゃんだったの。最初全然知らんくて、しばらくして「妹とディズニー！」ってインスタに載せてて「え、お姉ちゃんなんですか？！」ってなって、そしてそうだよってなって。「なんかのタイミングでUna撮ってあげてよ。さえちゃん写真上手くない？！」ってなって。その時はまだ日常を撮ってただけだけど、その時に初めて被写体を撮った。それをDroptokyoの編集長が見てくれて「掲載していい？」って連絡くれて、記事に載せてくれたの。そのとき嬉しすぎて私めっちゃ覚えてるなあ、家で飛び跳ねて。新宿二丁目の “FancyHIM” っていうイベントが2ヶ月か3ヶ月に1回やってて、そこがめっちゃファッション業界の人が集まるし、面白いイベントで。それに行こうって思って行ったらDroptokyoの元編集長・Kazumaさんがいて。居るの知ってたのかな、狙って行ったのかな。笑 多分知ってたわ、記事で写真載ってたから。「ストリートスナップ撮りたいんです。この間のUnaちゃんの写真私が撮ったんです。」って急にKazumaさんに話しかけて。その頃はKazumaさんが全部やってたの1人で。撮って、編集作業も。そしたらカズマさんが今ちょうど探してたよ。って言ってくれて。まだ（会社が）ちっちゃいし、収入源ないからスナップって。それで私がインターンで入って、毎日道端で声かけまくって。毎日やって、夜はガールズバーでずっとバイトしながらやってたの。結構長くやってて。仲いいおじちゃんとかがご飯食べさせてくれてた。普通に今でも連絡先知ってる人とかいるよ。しかも写真展に来てくれたり、何人か仲良しができた。学んだことあるなあ。でも嫌な大人もいたな。こういう大人になりたくないっていう学びになった。あとはクラブでもずっと撮ってた。Visionとか、Harlemとか。今仕事をくれる人のほとんどはストリートスナップ時代に道端で声かけて出会った人とクラブで出会った人。マジそんな感じ。嬉しい。
□ Did you continue taking photos after moving to Tokyo as well?
Little by little, I began to see hope. After coming to Tokyo, it’s not like I was taking photos the whole time from the start; I was working part-time. It was a job in apparel and I was making 130,000 yen a month; it wasn’t enough to really live off of so I worked at a girls bar at night even though I was no good at conversation. (Haha) The staff was also honestly a really good person and gave me work. And I met interesting middle-aged men too. After coming to Tokyo, since I really liked fashion, I decided I wanted to take fashion photography (snaps). Though I wasn’t able to say I wanted to be a photographer because I didn’t think I had it in me to become anything. After taking some fashion snaps, I thought it seemed fun, and I wanted to take more. If I was going to do it, I wanted to do it at Droptokyo. I loved Droptokyo; it was the coolest. Once I’d decided I wanted to take fashion snaps at Droptokyo, there was this model girl Una. After coming to Tokyo I started work and the first person I became close with was the older sister of a model I liked. At first I had no idea but later on she made an Instagram post, “Disneyland with my little sister,” and when I asked if she was Una’s older sister she said yes. “If the timing works out, you should take her photo! Sae, aren’t you good at taking photos?” she pointed out. At that time I was still taking shots of daily life and it was the first time that I shot a subject. The editor-in-chief of Droptokyo saw it and contacted me to ask if they could publish it, so he used it in an article. I was so happy in that moment; I remember it so well. I was jumping up and down in my house. There was this interesting event called “FancyHIM” in Shinjukunichome held once every 2 or 3 months where a ton of fashion industry people would gather. I decided I’d go and when I went, the former editor-in-chief, Kazuma, of Droptokyo was there. Maybe I knew he was going to be there and went for that reason. (Haha) I probably knew because my photo was in the article. “I want to take street snaps. I took the photo of Una from the other day,” I suddenly blurted out to Kazuma. Around that time, Kazuma was doing everything by himself. Photography, editing and production. And he said he’d actually been searching for someone. “The company is still really small and there’s no money coming in so snap away!” So I joined as an intern and stood on the street everyday calling out to people. I did it everyday and worked at the girls bar at night the whole time. I did it for a pretty long time. An older guy I’d become friends with made sure I was well fed. There are people I’m still in touch with even today. And they came to my photo exhibitions and we became good friends. I learned a lot. But there were also some adults I didn’t like. I learned that I didn’t want to be like those adults. Meanwhile, I was taking photos at clubs the whole time. Like Vision and Harlem. Most of the people who give me work these days I met by calling out to them on the street in my street snap era, or we met in the club. Seriously, that’s how it went. I’m happy.
□ ストリートスナップでは、どんな人に声をかけていた？
私がいたときは私以外にフォトグラファーの男の子が２.３人ぐらいいて、それぞれ撮るジャンルが違くて。別に決めてるわけじゃないのに「あの子はさえちゃん担当だね」ってのが自然と全員の感覚が身に付いてた。私はあれだな、”好きなものが伝わってくる子”。なんか「この子絶対あれやってる」とか「絶対あの曲好きだろうな」とか。独自の表現をしていて、それを感じとれる人が1番おしゃれだと思う。そういう子をめっちゃ探してた。自分もめっちゃ勉強になったな。バックボーンが感じれるような人を追いかけてた。ハイファッションは元からあまり興味なかった。そういう人を撮りたかったし、そういう人ばっかり声かけてた。こだわりはめっちゃ強い。
□ In your street snaps, what kind of people did you call out to?
When I was there (Droptokyo), aside from me, there were 2 other male photographers. Around 3 of us, and the genres we each shot were different. It’s not like it was decided but everyone naturally got the feeling that “that girl Sae is in charge.” I’m like that; one of “those kids whose passions are easily transmitted.” Like, “that girl is definitely doing that” or “she definitely likes that song.” People who have their own way of expressing themselves and you can sense it; I think they’re the most fashionable. I was always looking for that type of kid. I also learned so much. I was seeking out people who I could feel had backbone. I never really had much interest in high fashion. I wanted to shoot people like those I mentioned, and I was always calling out to those types of people. I am super particular.
□ 好きなことでお金を稼げても、大変だったこともあるよね。
スナップ撮ってて楽しかったし、そのときマジでかっこいいスナップを撮ってた自信がめっちゃある。フォトグラファーの正解みたいなのがあって、なんでもだけど。形の正解。フォトグラファーは、アシスタントについて卒業してスタジオ入って、卒業してっていうのが正解みたいなのがあったんだけど。それ壊してみたいな。そういうのに試されたりしてた。21歳の女の子でそういうの（学校行ったりアシスタント）も経験してなくて。それでストリートスナップってなめられる。1番年下。「あ〜スナップ撮ってんの？」みたいなさ。「え、ちょっと待って。私めっちゃかっこいい写真撮ってます」そのときすでに自信があった。被写体、背景のチョイス。「用意してない環境でこれ撮れるんだよ！」っていう自信。スナップはその場で声かけてその場で場所も決めて。この服だったらこの場所であそこの壁にしようとか。そういうの考えるのが好きだったの。めっちゃ楽しかった。だから楽しかったけど、そういうのはめっちゃぶち当たった。女子だと余計って思った。10年前は原宿にスナップの人がいっぱいいて、違う媒体の派閥みたいなのがあって、10年前はめっちゃいた。で、私がはじめたときとか「え？誰あの子？」みたいな。私が初めて行ったときとかカメラもなんもわからんし。とりあえず Canon の EOS 5D Mark II を初期投資で頑張って買って。もうやる気アップ。それ持ってドキドキしてた。最初声かけるのも怖かったなあ（笑）
□ Even if you are able to make money doing what you love, there are still challenges, am I right?
Taking fashion snaps was fun and in those days I was super confident that I was taking cool snaps. But there’s like a right way to become a photographer, with anything, not just photography though. The right path. After graduating from being an assistant and entering the studio, you’re a photographer—actually graduating is the right way. I want to try breaking that norm. I was tried/tested for that. A 21 year old girl who has no experience with those things (going to school or being an assistant). Then becomes a street snap photographer; you get made fun of. I was the youngest. People were like, “Ahh, you’re taking street snaps?” “Hold on, I’m taking super cool photos,” at that time I was already confident. Choice of subject and background. “I can take this without preparing the environment beforehand!” kind of confidence. When taking snaps, I’d decide on the spot who to call out to on the street, and what location to take them at. Like, with these clothes, let’s try this spot with that wall over there. I liked thinking about those things. It was so much fun. That’s why it was fun, but I really got slammed for those things. People thought I was over the top because I was a girl. 10 years ago, there were so many people taking street snaps in Harajuku. There were so many different groups in the media, so many photographers. And when I started, people were like, “what?… Who’s that girl?” When I first went out there I didn’t even know much about cameras. I just worked really hard and bought a Canon EOS 5D Mark II to get started. That got me motivated. Just holding it got my heart pounding. In the beginning, calling out to people was also scary (haha).
□ なにか頑張れる理由があったとか？
なんのために頑張ってたかというと、アメリカ行くためだった。有名にはなりたかったんかな。フォトグラファーで、どうなんだろう。例えば、有名な雑誌の表紙を撮りたいより、好きなアーティストさんを撮りたいというのが夢だったかな。それで5年前ぐらいにきっかけがあってドカーンと大きく概念が変わって。感覚がめっちゃ変わった。スナップをやめたとき。やめて次のステップに行こう。4年弱ぐらいやって、スナップは卒業した。アメリカには行きたかったから金貯めたいってなって。Droptokyoの会社員に途中でなれて、固定給だったんだけど。出勤してる時間以外は個人で仕事やってよかったの。そしたら毎月の給料を超えてギャラが。「え、ちょっと待って。やめたらすぐいけんじゃね」ってなって。そのときはやりたくないけどお金を稼ぐことに集中してた。スナップ撮りはじめたとき以外はカメラだけで仕事してた。スナップのときに出会った人たちのおかげ。繋がってそれで仕事になって。
□ Did you have a reason that drove you to work hard?
If I had to put a reason to my working hard, it was to go to America. I think I wanted to be famous. As a photographer, I dunno. I guess, rather than shooting the cover for a famous magazine or something, it was my dream to take photos of artists I liked. Then 5 years ago I had a chance, and boom, my whole perspective changed in a big way. The way I felt changed a lot. That’s when I stopped taking street snaps. I quit and decided to move on to the next step. After about 4 years, I graduated from taking snaps. I decided I wanted to save money since I wanted to go to America. I’d become a full-time employee at Droptokyo after getting used to things halfway through and was getting paid a fixed salary but… I’m happy I did freelance gigs when I wasn’t at work. I started making more in freelance than my monthly salary, without fail. “Hey, wait a minute, I’ll be alright even if I quit,” I realized. I didn’t want to do it anymore at that time but I’d been focusing on saving money. Other than when I first started taking street snaps, I’ve worked only with my camera. Thanks to the people I met when I was taking snaps. They linked me with others, and I found more work.
□ 写真を長年撮り続けて気づいた “本当に撮りたいもの” はなんだった？
４年間くらい撮り続けたスナップを辞めるときにめっちゃ変わったと思う。写真も変わった。撮りたいものも変わった。ファッションへの興味が薄れてきた。もちろん可愛いものとかっこいいものはずっと好きなんだけど、その可愛いものとかっこいいものの定義も変わったかな。
ファッションフォトグラファーになりたいわけではないな。伝えなきゃいけないことがあるんだって思った、かっこいい可愛いのそのまた奥が欲しい、何か与えられる写真撮らないと意味ないなと思って。それでめっちゃ変わって。エロとかもそれだったんだよな。グラビア撮りたいとかヌード撮りたいってなったのはそれがきっかけで。エロに関して商業的に扱われることが多くて、下品なイメージも生まれていることがあるなと思った、例えば、AVを観ている自分に恥じらいがあったり、この作品よかったよって友達にAVお薦めしてる光景なんてあまりみたことない。日常的な会話にポジティブな感覚で話しができたらと思って。神秘的なセックスを経験してそう感じた。美しいものが歪んでることが多いなと思って。それでヌードを撮りたいって思った。最初は気づいてなかった、ここが一致してなかった。漠然とヌードを撮りたいっていう気持ちがあったけど、あとから「あーだから撮りたかったのか！」って答え合わせした。エロス＝生命っていうイメージをつけたくて。セックスは神秘的なもの。
After taking photos consistently over all these years, was there something that made you think “I really want to shoot this”?
Having been shooting for about 4 years, I really changed when I quit taking snaps. My photos changed too. The things I wanted to shoot changed too. My interest in fashion died out. Of course I still love cute things and cool things but my definition of what was cute and cool changed. I figured out I didn’t want to be a fashion photographer. I realized there are things I’ve got to convey, cute and cool, I want to go deeper than that. I thought that if I don’t take photos that say something, there’s no point. It all changed a lot. Erotic photography and stuff, that was it. That’s the reason I decided I wanted to shoot gravure and nudes. Eroticism is treated as purely commercial; I thought that vulgar imagery is also born (opportunity), for example, I feel ashamed of myself for watching AV; I’ve hardly ever seen people saying, “this work was great,” and recommending AV to their friends. I thought, what if people could feel good about talking about these daily-life type things? I experienced some transcendent sex and that’s what I felt. I thought that beautiful things are often distorted. That’s why I decided I wanted to shoot nudes. I didn’t realize it at first, it hadn’t synced. I had a vague feeling that I wanted to shoot nudes but later on it hit me, “ah, that’s why I wanted to shoot them!” I wanted to convey the image that eroticism = life. Sex is a spiritual thing.
□ 1番最初に撮影したヌードはどれ？
これです！これは可愛く撮った。Ayumiちゃんが初めて。これでMayuriのがきたんよ。2年半前。
□ What was the first nude photoshoot you did?
This one! I shot this in a cute way. Ayumi’s first time. After that was Mayuri. 2 years ago.
□ 他にも写真を通してなにか伝えたいものはある？
占星術で使命を伝えられたことがあって。私の使命はコミュニケーション。私しゃべれないんだけど笑 それってでも “伝えること” っていう意味だったみたい、去年小学生の頃の日記を見つけて見てたら「地球をどうにかしなきゃいけない」ってめっちゃ書いてて。田舎に住んでて、どんどん変わっていく自然の姿を見てたから。「このままではいけない、どうにかしないといけない。」みたいなめっちゃ使命感もう感じてるやんって思った。感覚的にこれってあったんだみたいな。じゃあもうそれがやるべきことなんだってさらに思って、本当に最近はそれが目的になってる。最近アバターを４Dで見て、「James Cameronすげー！」ってなって。映画館で3回観た。本当にこんな作品を観せてくれてありがとうございますって思った。こんなに深い気づき与えるのって凄いな。
自然の美しさとか綺麗な風景を撮りたい、切り取り方でアートにしたい。そして伝えたいことがたくさんある。
□ Is there anything else in particular that you would like to communicate through your photos?
Astrology told me what my mission was. My mission is communication. I can’t talk though (haha) but it seemed like the meaning of that was “to convey.” Last year I found a journal from when I was in elementary school and was looking at it and I wrote so many times, “I need to do something about the Earth.” Because I was living in the countryside and I saw how fast the state of nature was changing. I realized that I seriously already felt some sense of mission like, “we can’t keep going on like this, I need to do something about it.” Wow, I guess I felt like that. So, I thought that that’s what I really should be doing, and recently that’s truly become a purpose for me. Recently I watched Avatar in 4D, and I thought, James Cameron is amazing! I watched it 3 times in the movie theater. I honestly felt so thankful to have been shown that work. To be able to bestow such deep insights, it’s crazy. I want to shoot the beauty of nature and stunning landscapes, and cut it out and make it into art. There are so many things I want to communicate.
□ 忙しい東京に住みながら “自然” とどのようにバランスをとってるの？
登山。登山に行くときは完全に社会を捨てて。1回自然に戻る、動物に戻るみたいな感覚にして登ってバランスとってる。たまにやって。自分の中でいいバランスの位置があるからそれを保てるように気を付けてる、間の。いいイメージはめっちゃあって。東京に住んでいると、知らないうちにズレてるから。自然に行くことによって戻してるけど。今は自然に行くことしか戻す方法を知らないから。友達が「瞑想で戻せるよ」って教えてくれて、その力は自分に必要だな。瞑想は全然してないし未知なんですけど、少しずつ取り入れていきたいと思ってる。
□ Living in the bustling city of Tokyo, how do you achieve balance with nature?
Mountain climbing. When I go mountain climbing, I can completely do away with society. For a moment, go back to nature, and I feel like I go back to being an animal while I’m climbing; that’s how I achieve balance. I do that every so often. I have a good balance within myself, so I take care to maintain it. There is a ton of good imagery. When you’re living in Tokyo, you fall out of sync without realizing it. I get back on track by going to nature. Because right now I don’t know any other way to center myself other than going to nature. My friend told me that “you can recenter yourself with meditation.” I need that power in myself. I’ve never practiced meditation and I don’t know a thing about it but I’d like to incorporate it little by little.
□ これまで感覚を研ぎ澄ますためにやって良かったなってことがあったら教えてほしい！
3日間だけ断食したの、断食の1番の目的が添加物をとらないこと。別に痩せたいとかそういうんじゃなくて、それをやってみたいと思った。元々気を付けてたけど、添加物について深く考えたのも5年前ぐらいで。添加物をとると物質社会に沿った思考になる。寄せられていく。お金を回すために社会が求めてる思考に寄っていくってことに気づいて。思考も寄ってくし、病気になって薬は売れるし、薬飲んでまた余計その思考に。お金は潤う。渦巻きみたいな。そういうことだって強く確信して。五感も鈍るから、気づきもえれなくなるし。感覚的なことからどんどん鈍っていくから。ちょっと添加物抜いて試してみようと思って。3日間しかやらなかったけど、抜くってことは食べないことしか選択肢がないから今の世の中。塩には添加物入ってるし、買ったお茶にもいっぱい入ってる、調味料にも入ってる、何でも入ってるから。とりあえず全くとらないってことをやってみたいと思って。やったの水と塩分取るためにお父さん自家製の梅干しで。やばすぎて。嗅覚も変わる。研ぎ澄まされるし。思考も変わんの。食べることについて考える時間もなくなるから。脳みそに空きができるから違う方向に思考が変わっていく。いつも考えれてないことを考えれるみたいな感覚だった。「これは添加物やべー」っていう答え合わせができて。そっからまた確信に繋がったから気をつけるようになったけど、それを気をつけて「五感・六感研ぎ澄ませばわかる」って思って。それで食べ物は気を付けてる。自分の感覚を最大限に引き出すために食べない。心と体の健康のため。そのためにご飯は気をつけてるのと。それも発信したい。伝えたい。言葉がマジで苦手だけど初めて伝えられた！あと、感覚もめっちゃ研ぎ澄まされるのと、あれってもう一種の苦行じゃん、修行みたいな感じだから。感覚が戻れるから。3日間の断食が終わってゆで卵を食べますってなったときの、ゆで卵への感謝がやばすぎて。「こんな美味しかったんだ」とか「これ塩だけでいいじゃん」みたいな。それにも気づける。最高。最初1日目はあれ食べたいこれ食べたいとか3日目終わったら焼肉食べたいなあ。とかめっちゃ考えてるんだけど、3日目にはカップラーメンとかコンビニのご飯とかそういうのを頭で想像したら吐き気する。あんなん食べてたなんてありえん、信じられない。気持ち悪くなってお肉とかも全然食べたいって気持ちが全くなくなってめっちゃ不思議だった。それで断食終わって添加物とるじゃん、すぐ鈍って食べれるから、。そのも逆バージョンもやばすぎて。結構すごいなって勉強になった。みんなで五感、六感を鋭くすることができたら、世界平和だと思う。
□ Until now, is there anything you did to sharpen your senses, that you can say you are happy you tried?
I tried fasting for just 3 days; the main reason for that was to not consume chemical additives. It had nothing to do with losing weight or anything like that; I wanted to try it. I’ve always been careful about that; I started to think deeply about additives about 5 years ago. If you consume additives, you will think in line with material society. We are being manipulated. I realized we end up thinking in the way the society wants us to in order to keep the money moving. People’s way of thinking changes for one, then we get sick and they can sell meds; we take the meds and then our thinking changes even more. They’re profiting. It’s cyclical. I have a strong conviction that that is what’s going on. And the five senses are dulled too, so we don’t even realize it. All ability to sense is rapidly dulled out. So I thought I’d try reducing additives a bit. I only did it for 3 days, but the only way to remove additives from your body in our world today is to not eat. There are additives in salt, and a ton in the tea you buy, and in seasonings too. They’re in everything. I just wanted to try not consuming any. I used my dad’s homemade umeboshi (pickled plum) to get water and salt. It was crazy. My sense of smell even changed. My senses were sharpened. My thinking changed too. You don’t need to use time to think about eating. Since there is space freed up in the brain, you start to think in a different way. I felt like I was able to think of things I usually can’t. “That’s what additives are,” I figured. After that, I was really sure and I started being more careful, whilst thinking “if you sharpen your 5 or 6 senses, it’ll all make sense.” That’s why I’m careful about what I eat. To strengthen my senses, I refrain from eating. For the health of my mind and body. That’s why I’m careful about food. And I want to share that. I want to communicate that. I’m seriously not good with words but that was the first time I was able to communicate that properly. It also really sharpens your senses and that’s kind of like training for the spirit. Because you can get your senses back. After finishing my 3 day fast and eating some hard boiled eggs, I felt so much gratitude for the food. Like, “was it always this good?” or “all I need is salt.” I was able to notice those things too. It was awesome. On the 1st day I want to eat this and that and I’m thinking about eating Japanese barbeque once I get past the 3rd day. It’s all I can think about, but once I get to the 3rd day, if I imagine eating cup ramen or convenience store food, I feel nauseous. I can’t believe I was eating those things. It makes me feel sick and I don’t even want to eat meat, it’s so strange. And then after I finish fasting and consume additives, the senses dull out pretty quickly and I can eat again. The experience in reverse is so crazy too. It was pretty amazing and I learned a lot. If we can sharpen our 5 or 6 senses, I think the world would be at peace.
□ Saekaちゃんはいつも生き生きしてるけど、上京した頃と比べてなにか自分自身への変化を感じる？
最近思ったのは、昔は自分の中でキャラを作っちゃってた。それってラクをしてたんだよね。こうすれば、こういうキャラでいればラクみたいなのを作っちゃってて。でもそれって本当の自分じゃなかった。それって結局自分がラクしたいからやってて、だから自分の思ってることを伝える事が難しかった。だし、男社会だったから男っぽくしなきゃみたいなのがめっちゃ強くて。本音とか真面目なこととか言うの恥ずかしいみたいな。でもやっとそういうのがだんだん崩れてきて。ありのままの自分を出す勇気もさらについて。伝えたいことを少しずつ伝え始めたらやっぱ変わった。環境も友達も、仕事も。伝えたいことが写真でもやっと最近伝えられるようになったんだけど。
□ Saeka, you’re always quite lively but, do you feel any change within yourself compared to when you first came to Tokyo?
Something I thought of recently was that in the past, I’d created a character within myself. That made things easier. I was thinking, if I act like this, if I am this character, it’s easier. But it wasn’t the real me. Really, I was doing that because it made life easier; that’s why I always had a hard time communicating my thoughts. On top of that, we live in a male-centric society and I felt a lot of pressure to be more masculine. I was kind of embarrassed to say what I really think. But those obstacles gradually started to fade away. I gained the courage to put my true self out there. When I began, little by little, to communicate what I wanted to communicate, everything changed. My environment, my friends and work too. Even though my medium of communication was always photography, only recently have I finally become able to convey what I wanted to.
□ 今後の未来についての計画があれば教えてほしいな。
計画してない。出会い次第って思っちゃうから。今のところあまり考えてなくて、10年後にこうで何年後はここに住んでこれやってたいとか。明確にはイメージしてなくて、これもありだな、これもありだけどなあ。やりたいことめっちゃあるから、もう流れにまかせよって感じなの、感覚で。選択肢はある程度何個かあって、どれでも最高。どれでも楽しそう！勝手にタイミングがくるから、どれなんだろう私っていう感覚で。最近友達に言われてしっくりきたのが、『想像したら現実になる。』実際そうだと思う。私は子供が欲しいし、パートナーも欲しい。でも別に出会わなくても楽しいこといっぱいできるしどちらも楽しいだろうなって。明確にはイメージしてなくて。イメージした方がいい！って友達に言われて。いつも流れに任せてるから細かくイメージすることをやってみようって思った。
□ If you have any plans for the future, I’d really love to hear about them.
I don’t have any plans. Because I think I know as soon as I come across it. I’m not really thinking so much on those terms right now; in 10 years it should be like this and further down the road I want to live here and be doing this and stuff. I don’t have a clear image; this sounds alright, but that sounds alright too. There are so many things I want to do so I feel like I’m leaving it up to the tide. There are several potential ways things could go and either one would be amazing. Any of them sound like fun. The timing will come on its own, so I wonder which way I will go. Something a friend told me recently that really struck a chord was, “If you imagine it, it becomes reality.” I really think that’s true. I want children, and I want a partner too. But even if I don’t meet that person, there are so many fun things to do; it would be fun either way. I don’t have a clear image. “You should have an image,” my friend told me. I’m always going with the flow so I thought I might try to envision a detailed picture of what’s next.
SP∞CE MAGAZINE 